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Chavtastic Jinx

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(no subject) [Apr. 21st, 2013|06:03 pm]
Chavtastic Jinx
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Don't trust him. Smile, work hard, be pleasant... BUT NEVER TRUST.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

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(no subject) [Apr. 19th, 2013|09:44 pm]
Chavtastic Jinx
it's really amazing how painful it still is to be shunned by someone who I once trusted as a friend. I guess it's true: I really can't be trusted to choose my own people. I have horrible, horrible taste in humans.
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(no subject) [Apr. 11th, 2013|09:40 pm]
Chavtastic Jinx
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Hanging on. Hanging in. Breathe in, breathe out. Get to May.

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(no subject) [Apr. 1st, 2013|12:55 pm]
Chavtastic Jinx
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[Current Mood |nostalgicnostalgic]

I'm not sure how I came across this article, it was in my Instapaper from a while ago...

And I'm not sure why I'm reading it now, when I have a shit-ton of work to do, none of which involves reminding myself of my interpersonal "failures" over the years...

But yeah. The section called "You Are Worthless, Let’s Be Friends" is kinda interesting. Specifically, the "squicky pal"... Man, I've had a few of those over the years. I married one. I still get secondhand drama 2 years later from another.

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Victimised Extreme Narcissist [research] [Jun. 22nd, 2012|11:16 am]
Chavtastic Jinx
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[Current Mood |hopefulhopeful]

“Another way that the narcissist’s ego gets special attention is through the role of being a victim. Welcome to the victimized extreme narcissist. Most persons recognize ego as arrogance. At the same time they fail to see the subtle deception of ego when it takes the role of a being a victim. As kind and compassion-driven human beings, we easily are fooled by this form of extreme ego. We are constantly hearing the voices of the needy in the media through a variety of forms. The disenfranchised, the poor, the homeless, the hurting, the refugees, the abused, and the list goes on. What we often do not see is that we are many times shamed by these voices for not doing enough for them. All along it is easy to be manipulated as we respond from our hearts. The deception of the ego is that the narcissist can hide behind misfortune and victimization in order to shame you into feeling and believing that they suffer more than you do. They will say that you don’t care enough for them. They will make you feel that you have not done enough to help them. The ego wants attention, control, gain, and power over others by positioning itself as a “poor and helpless” victim. It does this; all the while it soaks up the attention and control over others. In the eyes of an extreme narcissist, their situation is always right and totally justified. Instead of taking responsibility for self and consequences, the extreme narcissist tries to make others feel responsible for their plight. Because extreme narcissists are incredibly adept at the game of manipulation, they will always find a way to turn the tables on you. They will try to make you responsible and feel guilty for not helping them or taking their side and cause.

Extreme narcissists often shift gears from visible grandiosity to acting that they are better than others because they suffer more than others. You can see an extreme narcissist who hogs the limelight and credit from achievements and self-praise also getting similar recognition from milking an injury or a seeming misfortune that has occurred to them. Victimized extreme narcissists are on the constant prowl looking for any gullible soul that will believe their version of calamity whether it is real, exaggerated, or fictitious. What they claim that makes their calamity different is that it is worse for them. Beware of this kind of extreme narcissism. It is just as selfish and manipulating as that of a pompous egotist. The moment they see that you don’t “fully” cooperate and act with extreme concern for them, serving and pampering them, they will eliminate you from their list of “loving” folks. They may even badmouth you and gossip or slander you as being selfish and uncaring. Imagine that! I have seen these types over and over again in work I have done in the field of pain medicine management. It is usually the individuals who are humble, full of gratitude, and joyful who are the ones most capable of coping with their injuries and pain. Those who are selfish, moaning, and full of self-pity take much longer to heal or sometimes never heal but go further downhill in their health. My recommendation is to avoid treating this person’s misfortune as the ultimate suffering of all humans. Be polite. Recognize their pain and no more. Don’t be pulled into their web of emotional manipulation. Stay away from extreme narcissists.”


- from "Narcissists Who Cry" by Dr. Sam

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(no subject) [Feb. 6th, 2012|12:29 am]
Chavtastic Jinx
This is something I wrote in a comment a while ago, and I guess i sortof thought I would get over it and go back to 'normal'... but I haven't. I'm sad to say I still feel this way, and I don't think I'll ever not....
I'm posting it here as a reminder to myself that i wasn't always like this, that I don't WANT to be the person who feels this way, and I'm putting it front-and-center as a thing I might - though right now I don't feel like I will ever - come back from.


I'm feeling better today, but I realized something as I was stomping around feeling emo yesterday...
The thing that's making me sad now...
I used to think people were fundamentally good and kind and meant well. I wasn't more social or less awkward or anything, but I just kindof always assumed people were basically okay... And if they meant well and I meant well, things would be be okay.
In the past 2 years I've watched people who claim to be "friends" or even just "I have no problem with him/her" do such nasty things to each other... Or see other people doing nasty things without stepping up and saying anything...
I dunno. It'd be pretty hyperbolic to say "I've lost faith in humanity" but honestly? I no longer believe people are fundamentally good.
It makes me sad. I miss giving people the benefit of the doubt. I miss being excited to see someone instead of scared that they'll flip out or decide I'm not cool enough or try to drag me into their drama or find out that they've been talking shit about me all along. (all of which has happened at least a couple times in the past 2 years)
All in all, when it comes to people... I really just like my cats.
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really. [Feb. 3rd, 2012|12:57 am]
Chavtastic Jinx
to be a person who doesn't care how much damage they cause...

it must be so nice.
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Hermit. [Jan. 19th, 2012|12:30 pm]
Chavtastic Jinx
[Current Mood |cynicalcynical]

I really am trying not to be a hermit. I was starting to feel a bit better, actually. And I know I only use LJ as the deep dark hole to shout my anger into, but it's not always quite as bad as you'd think if this was all you knew of me.

But that's probably true of everyone. Except drjeff. I suspect his life really is like his LJ: a perfect combination of hot-fiance-boobs and modern-day-brady-bunch topped with occasional-painkillers, which makes me happy because he deserves happy things. :)

But I like being a hermit. There are cats and video games and I don't have to brush my hair. And it feels like every time I wander out of my cave, the world pokes me in the eye with a stick.

Fuck you, world, and fuck your stupid pokin' stick!


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I have to remind myself: when these stupid things happen, the up-side is that a few people quietly step up and say "That? That was fucked up. I'm not involved but I saw that and it was fucked up. You have every right to be pissed off." and then I make a mental note to buy those people a drink or knit them a scarf or something.
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Goddamn! [Jan. 18th, 2012|02:04 am]
Chavtastic Jinx
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I am going to start asking for two personal recommendations and a psych eval whenever I meet a new person...

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Short of being hit by a bus in the next few hours, there's no way out of it [Nov. 18th, 2011|01:06 pm]
Chavtastic Jinx
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I guess all I can hope is that the haters have enough class to keep their mouths shut, and the ones who used to (pretend to?) be my friend will have a shred of decency to not ridicule me openly.

Because I'm going to be terrible. Really terrible. I'm out of shape. I'm not pretty. Im not using "their music". And my costume is shitty.

I've gritted my teeth and tried to ignore all the other insults. Please, please, please just leave me alone tonight.

(Does anyone have a bus I could walk in front of?)

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